Anyone who has followed the news of the Tour de France for even 5 minutes will have realised that the sport of cycling is truly fraught with “chemically enhanced” participants. Where do you draw the line between ethics and ambition? There’s no such thing as a level playing field anymore. I don’t particularly care either way, one thing is for certain, I could never do what those guys do, drugs or no.

I inject heroin into my eyeball.